1. I’ve decided that we should teleport using 1/3 of our brains and we can therefore take over 1/3 of someone else’s brain. Wouldn’t it then be awesome to teleport right into someone’s brain who has 50-yard-line tickets for the Super Bowl? Just to feel the excitement?
2. I had an epiphany tonight while looking for nursing school scholarships: I want to be a neonatal nurse. I think I would be excellent at it, even if it does dash my dreams of finding my own Denny Duquette.
3. I went trick-or-treating with my ex-husband, his new fiancee, and four of the five kids between us all tonight. It was actually a lot of fun!
4. I am bound and determined to finish hanging my artwork this week. I’m tired of my apartment being unkempt and unfinished.
5. This teenage acne on my chin has got to stop. I think I got it from reading Tina Fey’s book, Bossypants, because she complains about her own bouts with it.
6. Thursday night is my only free night this week…the rest are booked with social events. I sound a lot more hip than I really am–in actuality I’m just lonely as fuck.
7. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…why won’t the people at Hershey’s get their heads out of their asses and make a dark chocolate Almond Joy? We could call it Almond Bliss or Nutty Nirvana…just get it done already.

I love you all, some more than others.

1. Having my kids with me gives me a peace of mind that I have longed for since I took my exclamation point. Their energy dissipates my own, and I feel almost normal.
2. My ex-husband bought me an ice cream cake for my birthday (with the kids’ help) because he remembered I like the crunchies. We are on a path to being better friends than we ever were spouses.
3. Reese’s Pieces…on a caramel apple…with Granny Smith as a base…bought in Vegas last year and still lusted after by me and Jolie.
4. If zombies came to eat my brain, their tongues would rot off into a fiery bolus based on all the chemicals I’ve got mixing around in there–some natural and others not-so-much. Some days I can literally feel the synapses firing and can describe it in exquisite detail–I smell a poem.
5. Being uninspired is a distressing feeling for a writer. Let’s hope this nursing thing works out.
6. I turned 34, lied and told someone I was 27, got 27 jello shots, did half, and rocked my ass off on Saturday night. D! FTW.
7. I would really like to give someone a small piece of my heart—I miss doing simple acts of affection for someone I love. I have yet to figure out how to channel that energy elsewhere–it just sits in its pot simmering, begging to be served. I’m limping today.

I love you all, some more than others.

1. The next time I write my Seven Sentences, I’ll be 34…an unsavory number that I hope belies its optimistic truth.
2. I felt less alone eating by myself at BW3’s tonight than I have in a long time. I might be getting the hang of this single woman on the loose thing again after an unfortunate 6 month hiatus.
3. The kids are gone for the week and the thought of cleaning the apartment from floor to ceiling, carpet to linoleum has me ecstatic. It’s a shame I gave my pearls to my sister–I could’ve had a true Donna Reed moment, albeit a shit-kicking, single lady rocking out to tunes on the radio while vacuuming one.
4. I have for my entire life thought Van Halen’s “Panama” was Def Leppard’s “Animal” simply based on the chorus. I just this very moment realized how very wrong I was–only because it’s on the radio and a few weeks ago I insisted to a lead singer of an 80’s cover band that he had indeed played “Animal” because I heard it. Never argue with a rocker in a hair-band wig.
5. With going back to school becoming a very real possibility, I’m already getting excited about signing up for classes and meeting new professors. I need a lifetime scholarship for all the classes I’d love to take.
6. Paisley has officially claimed the potty mouth of the family title: Today during a tantrum at the mall she called me both an idiot AND a moron. I honestly have no idea where she got those words from.
7. The Doomsday prediction of May 21 was moved to October 21st, the day before my birthday, so maybe my fear of 34 will be completely moot. I guess I should eat cake on Friday just to be sure.

1. Saying goodbye to your sister who is moving 2100 miles away is easy…if you pretend it’s not really happening.
2. My niece’s wave goodbye also substitutes for a high-five or a chipper hello; it’s adorable no matter the intended meaning.
3. As I say adios to the old house for good, my living room is once again filled with crap that I don’t want to sort. I need to throw a party for motivation.
4. Is it sad that I’m already thinking about New Year’s Eve since I don’t have the kids? I don’t want to say au revoir to 2011 alone.
5. As I bid adieu to one of my medicines, albeit over the course of a few months, it has the unintended effect of opening up little packages of memories that were boxed and put away for safe-keeping for a later or never date. The later date has arrived and it is weird.
6. I abhor the new facebook…it frustrates the ever-living daylights out of me. And yet I still can’t say goodbye. Http Heroine.
7. Part of me wishes I’d never said farewell to my old blog as, for better or worse, it was a part of me. The other part of me is glad I tore it down never to be uncovered by anyone’s eyes but my own. I am the hypocritical exhibitionist writer.

I love you all, some more than others.