Seven Sentences for Sunday Extra Extra Edition

Today’s edition is brought to you by an extra author.  -Sam
  1. The earth orbits the sun in 365 days and some change.  This is why the rules for leap year are so convoluted.  366 days every 4 years except when the year is divisible by 100 but back on when it is divisible by 400.
  2. Leap year means an extra day working for the man which is ok if you are the man.
  3. I was going to do this guest appearance earlier in the month but it never happened.  It was going to be the Destiny is awesome because… edition.
  4. I just finished reading a book called World War Z by Max Brooks.  It’s a pretty good read about how humanity clawed its way back from the brink of extinction and hopeless despair.  A movie based on it will be released in December.  Read the book first.
  5. Why is there no such thing as extra Girl Scout Cookies?
  6. I have a 12 year old who might as well have an extra year under his belt because he acts like such a teenager.  He’s already in the hormonal and irrational phase.  He’s a good kid but if he’s anything like his old man I may not make it out of puberty alive.
  7. Destiny is awesome because writing 5 sentences is easy but writing 7 is difficult.  Every week it is like you’re getting 2 extra sentences.
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Seven Sentences for Sunday: The Time to Create Edition

 

  1. “Creativity and inspiration don’t come from idleness, but from continuous work.” (courtesy of @sweetpkljewelry) It is in that spirit that I continue to write almost every day, for perhaps my pressure is low at the moment, but I still have faith that the well is deep.
  2. “Poets need not go to Niagara to write about the force of falling water.” –Robert Frost (courtesy of @writersrelief) As I struggle to tap into the raw emotion that has so often ruled my writing, I am reminded that I don’t need to travel to depths that have left me shaken and gasping for breath in a tumbling waterfall of memories. There is much truth that lies in the details of every day life, a place from where I am just as able to write.
  3. I’ve been thinking about another writing challenge to force the continuous work and perhaps unearth the power of falling water. March will bring us Verse-day Thursday and Flash Fiction Friday. I missed my self-imposed Saturday deadline of a poem, so March 1 will debut something, anything, as long as I continue to put myself out there. How else will I stand a chance at writing the Oscar-winning Best Original Screenplay one day?
  4. Gotye’s “Someone That I Used to Know” and The Civil Wars’ “Poison and Wine” are songs that have struck a chord this week. My radio karma is on hiatus, but sometimes lyrics hit at just the right time to make me take stock of how far I’ve come in a year.
  5. The Sunday Lenten reprieve makes Monday almost torture. I had both a sweet tea AND a handful of Girl Scout cookies yesterday. I’m in sugar dt’s today.
  6. Am I a mean mom for not letting Jolie get another popsicle after hers melted off the stick and fell on the floor? She was nearly 3/4 of the way done anyway, and it seemed like a clever ruse to grab another one.
  7. I need the kids to stretch their sleep just an hour or two more and we’ll have success at having them in their beds all night. Rhett is my holdout, waking in a fit of terror between 4:30 and 5:30. I’m hoping by being steadfast this week, I’ll finally break through this barrier.

I love you all, some more than others.

Seven Sentences for Sunday: The Jesus Stops Eating Edition

  1. Sam and I have been dating for almost a whole tube of toothpaste.
  2. We sang “How Great is Our God” in church on Sunday. With the power that comes from all of us singing that chorus, I almost think we make the heavenly court smile.
  3. Hurricanes were invented as a way to get rid of the surplus rum that the whiskey makers made the bar owners buy for every case of whiskey they ordered. Gotta love Wikipedia when searching for the best Hurricane recipe for Mardi Gras.
  4. Big props to the Walgreens worker who tried to upsell me yesterday. She asked if I wanted to add some gum to my order. When I responded no, she looked at my box of tampons and said, “How about some chocolate.”
  5. “Affirming the seeds of doubt gives them the keys to my heaven…”–what I took away from my hourlong meditation this afternoon.
  6. I have a massage at 9 a.m. that my wife-in-law (Will’s wife) gave me for Christmas. Hooray for good relations.
  7. I long to write a poem. I am no longer affirming the seeds of doubt and will sit down to ruminate on one by Saturday.

I love you all, some more than others.

Seven Sentences for Sunday: The Blow Out Your Candles Mister Presidents Edition

  1. I’m not sure what sort of crack-laced carcinogenic substance they put in Nerds to give them such a powerful flavor burst in one little neon-colored nugget, but man those things pack a punch.
  2. Rhett and I had a date night tonight and went to see The Phantom Menace. I’d forgotten how frustratingly annoying Jar-Jar Binks is. And Rhett now wants to be Darth Maul. 
  3. I found this written on a scrap piece of paper of mine and was reminded of how true it is after a breakup: “One day you wake up and realize that it’s not his side of the bed anymore. The whole bed belongs to you until another lover leaves his imprint.”
  4. Sam told his kids that we are dating and I have broached the subject with mine. All responses were positive, but it adds a new level of seriousness to our relationship. I hope I don’t fuck this up.
  5. I am going to try chicken and waffles this year. Another induction into Cincinnati culture.
  6. I’m hoping that my giving up sugar for Lent will help kickstart the weight loss I so desperately need. I’m glad I am loved no matter what, but I would like to love myself and my health just a bit more.
  7. With age comes discretion and more wisdom about what topics I choose to write on. Having older kids in my social sphere now means I must think twice about what to post. Discretion without censorship–I will try to walk the line of staying true to myself without risking my relationships.

I love you all, some more than others.

 

Seven Sentences for Sunday: The Four-in-One Edition

  1. I wish “shart” was an acceptable Words with Friends word.
  2. D to P: “How’d you get to be so cute?” P, shrugging: “God just made me that way. And he made you that way too.” Awww.
  3. “I wanted to cut in front of Philip in the lunch line but he said no. So I just gave him my Puss-in-Boots eyes and he let me go ahead of him.”–Jolie, learning to use her womanly wiles already.
  4. If Paisley makes it to 18 without ink it will be a miracle. Every time I leave a pen out that child tats herself.
  5. There are few greater joys than listening to PJ sing along with Top 40 radio.
  6. Mmmm…churros and tacos. Jack in the Box is coming to the tri-state.
  7. “If there was a game and you had to pick your favorite hero, I would totally pick Darth Vader”–Rhett
  8. As gross as it is, it is insanely hilarious to be dutch-ovened by a three year old.
  9. Since reentering the dating world, I have become acutely aware of when my period starts. This twice a month thing had better be a fluke or a one-time-only cruel joke.
  10. Honeybells right out of the fridge are served for the after-angel-school snack in heaven. I’m certain of it.
  11. I just killed three of those suckers. Yes, three.
  12. I put my elliptical to good use today. For 15 excruciating minutes. Exercising for the first time in 18 months means I’m going to have to start slow. Much slower than I anticipated.
  13. I heart Phillip Phillips. And when I professed my love, Jolie asked me, “Yes, Mom. But do you love him more than Michael Kelso?”
  14. My new iSkin, with its funky shades of purple polka dots, just makes me smile.
  15. The blue cheese encrusted filet mignon that I made for Valentine’s dinner further underscores the fact that I could never be a vegetarian.
  16. I’m taking the kids to see The Ant and The Grasshopper theater production on Saturday. I love introducing them to culture. The moral message is just bonus.
  17. I locked the kids in their room today until it was cleaned. Forced captivity or just a pms-ing mom at her wits end, it was done in less than eight minutes and they stood proudly showing it off when I opened the door to let them out.
  18. I have taken to locking my own door at night so I can monitor when the kids get out of their beds to try and get into mine. I answered the call last night at 2:30, 4:15, and 6:30. I sent them back to their own beds for all but the 6:30. Compromise.
  19. I am immensely sorry for any stalking I did in my past life. Being hung up on a guy is one thing. Being completely obsessed is another. Karma is biting me in the ass with Sam’s ex, and I’m not liking it one bit.
  20. Jolie had to use the word “absolutely” in a sentence on her schoolwork. The result: “I  like so absolutely saved the day.”
  21. I love when my authors don’t know how to address me and call me Dr. Just.
  22. *Almost* every night that one of us has our kids Sam and I facetime across town to catch up on our day and say goodnight. Remember back in the eighties when we dreamed of video phones? We’ve got it, baby.
  23. I think I have all of my paperwork in so I can do my taxes. The hopeful payout at the end is actually motivating me to do them before April.
  24. It’s time for me to write another story or essay. I’m laying the gauntlet and saying I’ll put one out next week. Maybe I’ll add a poem to the challenge as well. Might as well aim high.
  25. I feel good that I’m learning more about my faith in my small group at church. I just wish I could say I believe in God without still feeling a little embarrassed.
  26. I still have a bowl of split-pea soup frozen in my freezer that Sam made me on our first date. Tomorrow would be a good day to break that out.
  27. I had to turn down a ghostwriting job because I can’t break out of this uncreative rut I’m in. I can’t even express how humbling and disappointing that is. Every writer’s worst fear–that the gift has dried up and blown away in the wind to be scattered among the trees–nags at my soul. Still I press on. Out of stubbornness, out of ignorance, out of the tiniest hope that perhaps my muse will reappear and my heart will once again thump with words for those who have none.
  28. Four days in one. Daily deadlines be damned, I’ll get my sentences done eventually. Even if I have to barf them up twenty-eight at a time.

I love you all, some more than others.

Seven Sentences for Sunday: The Sunday Actually Edition

  1. Trying to talk at a concert is like battling autocorrect while drunk texting. “Those are some nice groots.” “Groots? WTF are groots?” …searching for possible replacement words… “BOOTS! Yeah…they are.”
  2. I bow down to the all-holy hamburger truck that parked itself outside of Japp’s Annex this weekend. Four vodka cranberries in and that cowboy burger was yeehawing my name, to which I hooted and hollered right back.
  3. When whispering sweet nothings and getting romantic, Sam’s voice drops an octave and becomes alluringly deep. I told him how sexy this phenomenon is, and he proceeded to talk like Isaac Hayes the rest of the day.
  4. “I’m hungry. And you are my chicken and waffles.”–Sam, practicing his Isaac Hayes voice and cracking us both up.
  5. I love when my Spotify friend pays a visit and drops something in my inbox. That little red dot just makes me smile, and I wonder what little musical gem has been delivered.
  6. I did not win the $350 million Powerball, which means my next windfall will come in a meager little lump sum from my tax return. Better odds at least.
  7. All children are starting in their own beds this week. At some point I will have to lock my door so I can redirect them back to their own bed when they try to find their way into mine in the middle of the night. This means interrupted sleep for me, so my drive to do this is not extraordinarily high. But they are old enough to be sleeping in their own beds the entire night–no matter how huge and empty my king size bed feels when it’s just me owning it.

I love you all, some more than others.

Seven Sentences for Sunday: The Corporate Shindig Edition

  1. Why is the winky emoticon always winking with his right eye? What about the poor left eye winkers of the world?
  2. “For $14.95 those underwear better give me a handjob going up the stairs.”–Sam, in response to the David Beckham Superbowl commercial for his H&M underwear.
  3. Do you always close the door to the bathroom when you’re home alone? I don’t unless I’m going number two…because modesty has its place.
  4. I went to a happy hour with Sam’s work friends tonight. It’s been a while since I’ve done the corporate thing and let’s just say…I killed it.
  5. I got compared to Carrie Fisher tonight–of the golden bikini era. Made. My. Night.
  6. What is it with boys and zombies? There must be a blood oath that they swear upon entering puberty that commits them to do their faithful duty should a zombie apocalypse occur. Even Rhett has this fixation, and he’s eight years away from pubic hair.
  7. I don’t know what everyone is scared about–Over-the-Rhine kicks ass. Even if they did name an alley after some dude who got shot there.

I love you all, some more than others.