1. I have been missing my words and opinions lately. There’s a critical thinking component that has gone dormant in my head over the past few months. I’d like to poke at it to see if I can get it to roar. Writing these seven sentences is an attempt to brand a stick to see what kind of response I get.
2. I am sitting at Mansion Hill Tavern with Sam across from me as we both work on our respective laptops and listen to the blues jam that’s going on inside. It’s nice having company and not having to talk while we work. A deeper level? Or just really good friends?
3. There is a part of me that feels like I’m missing something in my life. I am not sure if it can be related to the current upheaval of my job situation, my finances, or something else, but if I think too hard about it, a certain sadness befalls me and a genuine smile is tough to come by.
4. Writing used to be my therapy until I got a really good therapist. Now I don’t have the will to write anymore. I’d rather be sane, though, so therapy wins.
5. I desperately want to see Train in August. But not desperately enough to toss out the $77.50 per ticket. Sad face.
6. Sometimes a text message icon can totally make your day and is better than the UPS man, even as much as I like to sign the little handheld machine. Warm fuzzy face.
7. In spite of all the good things I’ve got going on in my life and in spite of the brave front that I put up, I still struggle. Every single day. But that’s the only way I can take it is day by day. Weird face that you use the slash icon for.

I love you all, some more than others.

1. I want to go see Saturday Night Live in person before I die. #43 on the bucket list.
2. Justin Bieber is 18. Somehow I doubt there was a website that counted down the days til he was legal for thousands of middle-aged women to track like there was for men to track the Olson twins.
3. I watchedR get ready for a movie date with her teacher today and had a flash forward to her tweendom years. The fact that she took an hour to get ready and picked out her fancy button down that she wore to see Santa tells me there will be lots of fights over bathroom time, but someone will be very lucky.
4. Taste the rainbow…what Buddy Blue says when he pops a handful of Skittles before going down on Rainbow Brite.
5. I just reset a password to something related to me and Sam. I guess that means I should keep him around for awhile. Or maybe it’s as Sam just said, “Passwords are like boyfriends…change them every so often.”
6. Dating someone who has a keen interest in zombie lore has me armed with a contingency plan should the zombie apocalypse come in my lifetime. There are some things I just wish I never knew about–and shooting the undead in their brains is one of them–even if they are standing between me and the last twinkies on earth. However, “Double Tap” is one of the funniest lines of cult movie history.
7. I hate that feeling of loneliness that overcomes me when I come back home after dropping the kids off for the week. They consume all of my energy, try my patience, and sometimes have me counting down the days…but Sunday nights echo their fading laughter as I prepare to take off my mommy hat for the week. I’m glad I can be D!, but the changing of the guard is always a solemn process.

* Why does “slutty black boots” always rank in my top searches pointing to my blog? Perhaps I should incorporate this into my logo.

I love you all, some more than others.

1. “Creativity and inspiration don’t come from idleness, but from continuous work.” (courtesy of @sweetpkljewelry) It is in that spirit that I continue to write almost every day, for perhaps my pressure is low at the moment, but I still have faith that the well is deep.
2. “Poets need not go to Niagara to write about the force of falling water.” –Robert Frost (courtesy of @writersrelief) As I struggle to tap into the raw emotion that has so often ruled my writing, I am reminded that I don’t need to travel to depths that have left me shaken and gasping for breath in a tumbling waterfall of memories. There is much truth that lies in the details of every day life, a place from where I am just as able to write.
3. I’ve been thinking about another writing challenge to force the continuous work and perhaps unearth the power of falling water. March will bring us Verse-day Thursday and Flash Fiction Friday. I missed my self-imposed Saturday deadline of a poem, so March 1 will debut something, anything, as long as I continue to put myself out there. How else will I stand a chance at writing the Oscar-winning Best Original Screenplay one day?
4. Gotye’s “Someone That I Used to Know” and The Civil Wars’ “Poison and Wine” are songs that have struck a chord this week. My radio karma is on hiatus, but sometimes lyrics hit at just the right time to make me take stock of how far I’ve come in a year.
5. The Sunday Lenten reprieve makes Monday almost torture. I had both a sweet tea AND a handful of Girl Scout cookies yesterday. I’m in sugar dt’s today.
6. Am I a mean mom for not letting J get another popsicle after hers melted off the stick and fell on the floor? She was nearly 3/4 of the way done anyway, and it seemed like a clever ruse to grab another one.
7. I need the kids to stretch their sleep just an hour or two more and we’ll have success at having them in their beds all night. R is my holdout, waking in a fit of terror between 4:30 and 5:30. I’m hoping by being steadfast this week, I’ll finally break through this barrier.

I love you all, some more than others.

1. Sam and I have been dating for almost a whole tube of toothpaste.
2. We sang “How Great is Our God” in church on Sunday. With the power that comes from all of us singing that chorus, I almost think we make the heavenly court smile.
3. Hurricanes were invented as a way to get rid of the surplus rum that the whiskey makers made the bar owners buy for every case of whiskey they ordered. Gotta love Wikipedia when searching for the best Hurricane recipe for Mardi Gras.
4. Big props to the Walgreens worker who tried to upsell me yesterday. She asked if I wanted to add some gum to my order. When I responded no, she looked at my box of tampons and said, “How about some chocolate.”
5. “Affirming the seeds of doubt gives them the keys to my heaven…”–what I took away from my hourlong meditation this afternoon.
6. I have a massage at 9 a.m. that my wife-in-law (Will’s wife) gave me for Christmas. Hooray for good relations.
7. I long to write a poem. I am no longer affirming the seeds of doubt and will sit down to ruminate on one by Saturday.

I love you all, some more than others.

1. I’m not sure what sort of crack-laced carcinogenic substance they put in Nerds to give them such a powerful flavor burst in one little neon-colored nugget, but man those things pack a punch.
2. R and I had a date night tonight and went to see The Phantom Menace. I’d forgotten how frustratingly annoying Jar-Jar Binks is. And R now wants to be Darth Maul. 
3. I found this written on a scrap piece of paper of mine and was reminded of how true it is after a breakup: “One day you wake up and realize that it’s not his side of the bed anymore. The whole bed belongs to you until another lover leaves his imprint.”
4. Sam told his kids that we are dating and I have broached the subject with mine. All responses were positive, but it adds a new level of seriousness to our relationship. I hope I don’t fuck this up.
5. I am going to try chicken and waffles this year. Another induction into Cincinnati culture.
6. I’m hoping that my giving up sugar for Lent will help kickstart the weight loss I so desperately need. I’m glad I am loved no matter what, but I would like to love myself and my health just a bit more.
7. With age comes discretion and more wisdom about what topics I choose to write on. Having older kids in my social sphere now means I must think twice about what to post. Discretion without censorship–I will try to walk the line of staying true to myself without risking my relationships.

I love you all, some more than others.