Letting Go of My Remote Control

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Ever have one of those days where it seems like everyone you meet just wants to piss in your Cheerios? I had one of those recently and it’s still sticking with me. I know I should just let it go, but for some reason it still gnaws at me, like suddenly I’ve grown to big for my skin and I just need to get out.

It’s not fair to my psyche to let these people ruin an otherwise good day. I fight back, but lifting myself back up takes a lot of energy—energy that I don’t have all the time. You can also bet on them picking the worst possible time for them to tangle with you. And the crap thing is these energy sappers likely have no idea what they are doing to other people. Unfortunately, if I’ve learned one thing, standing up to them makes no difference…they’ll continue to bully. So the best I can do is try to forget it, because if I don’t I’m saying, “You win” and am letting them control space in my brain that belongs to me alone.

It doesn’t help that I’ve been reminiscing a lot lately, and not about the best things in my life. I’m not sure what has caused this trip down memory lane, but I’m ready for a detour. It’s not fun being confronted by all the stones you’ve tripped over as we walk this life path. I’d much rather be swinging from the trees in clothes made from old drapery. Alas, there is no Maria who will brush my hair when it rains, nobody to sing to me “You are thirty-five, going on thirty-six, ain’t life a total bitch…” Nope, I’m responsible for my own self these days, which means I’ve got to be the one to take control.

In an effort to take control from others, I have papered this city with copies of my resume. It has paid off, as on Friday I was assigned three articles to work on for a prominent magazine for executives in Cincinnati. I’m completely stoked about the challenge and look forward to producing some of my best work.

As I sit here and type this, perhaps serendipitously Michael Franti has come on my iTunes to remind me that “you’ve got to let go of remote control.” That’s exactly what I’m striving for…so I can take back what’s mine from the energy sappers and say, “HA! I win!”

I love you all, some more than others.

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