The Mayor has followed my lead and is adding stickers to the calendar every time he gets a workout in. His are motivational like, “Great Job!” or “Well done,” while mine are just different smiley faces. My smileys filled the first half of the year, but have been sporadic over the past few months, but with The Mayor adding his, and my new twice weekly workout class, we are going to have this calendar filled with stickers by the end of the year!
We went to a party at a neighbor’s house on Saturday night so The Mayor could meet all my friends from The Hook Up (what we call our crochet group). It was so much fun to socialize and get to know my friends and their kids and spouses more. And bonus points for it being three houses away, so we hauled our cookies, meatballs, and lawnchairs 400 feet down the road and meandered back home when we were ready.
I found my custom “I am Destiny!” Chuck Taylors and I forgot how uncomfortable they are. I spent most of my twenties in Chucks and my feet just aren’t made that way anymore. I will still sport them for special occasions, but for everyday walking around, they are retired.
Two of my friends spent the better part of Labor Day cleaning and purging parts of their house. I finished a 100 page article and got in some Switch Bowling and Swordfighting with The Mayor. I’d say we killed it in productivity on what is supposed to be a day of rest.
We went to Tractor Supply to get some gummy cherries because I have been informed they have the best. This is actually true. I picked some up for Ez’s care package too and we said hello to the baby chicks who were peeping and cheeping.
I had a zoom with R last night and at one point she was talking about something that she really loved and was passionate about and her whole face lit up. Like she had this inner glow that just radiated. It was so nice to see her so happy and comfortable.
My mom is coming in town for my birthday this year, I am starting a crochet class on Friday, and I am committed to two 5:30 a.m. workouts a week for the months of September and October. I would say I’m going to be ringing in the last year of my 40s in great fashion!
Thursdays are our half-day. I am up early for my 5:30 workout class, so I get straight to work when I get home at 6:30 after I get the coffee going. The Mayor usually rouses by 7 or 7:30 and joins me with his laptop. This past Thursday, we worked until 12:30 and then The Mayor and I took off on Mystery Date #2 to parts unknown to me.
In anticipation, I put on my new flowy black pants that I got on clearance at Meijer, a knit top, and my custom Chuck Taylor’s, so I felt hip and cute for once. I could tell The Mayor is getting familiar with the area because we headed east on 96 and he didn’t need directions until 45 minutes into our trip. Our first stop on the mystery date? The Mayor was treating me to a shopping spree at Unwind Yarn Shop in Brighton, just outside of Ann Arbor. I went in and fingered all of the fibers, as I love to do, and hemmed and hawed over what I would be bringing home. Not wanting to go overboard, I picked a bundle of 20 mini-hanks in various blues and greens that I have dreams of making granny square sleeves with on an upcycled hoodie. I reluctantly put back a gorgeous sparkly teal skein that I couldn’t justify spending the $37 on without a project in mind.
We then braved three double roundabouts in a row (We went from one roundabout directly into another and then another. It was wild and we hope to never do it again!) on our way to OC Sportscards so The Mayor could get some time in his happy place searching for cards. I parked myself on the “girlfriend couch” in the front of the store with Wheel of Fortune on the tv so he could pick in peace and I could text my friends in The Hookup about my mystery date. I couldn’t stop thinking about that sparkly teal and I wrestled with my fiscal prudence versus my letting go and letting myself be spoiled. Suddenly I got an email from State Farm letting me know that I was the recipient of a dividend totalling 5 times the amount of the sparkly teal that I passed on. A sign from the Universe? I immediately thought I would ask to return to Unwind to buy that skein, but little did I know he had a whole other yarn shop next on the list.
We battled parents and students in downtown Ann Arbor since it was dropoff week for University of Michigan and found Spun yarn shop. We put 30 minutes on the meter and went into the galleria of shops to check out their offerings. The Mayor was thrilled to find a vintage media store below Spun, so he went downstairs while I searched the yarn store. I found a funky green that I am going to make into a hat for Doodle at some point. I also found a purple sparkly skein that I am going to make into a hat for myself to replace the sparkly teal that I passed on at Unwind. I was super pleased with my purchases and also stoked that I came out net positive after my dividend rebate. When I rendez-voused with The Mayor in the media shop, he found a dvd that he wanted. As he checked out, the clerk told him if he gave her his phone number to become a rewards member, he could get another free dvd. So Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Joe Dirt came home with us, we pulled out of our parking spot at the exact minute our meter expired, and we tallied up another wink from the universe.
We ended our Mystery Date #2 at Metzgers German restaurant, where The Mayor finally got his schnitzel that he had been missing from Schmidt’s and I was adventurous and tried the new-to-me sauerbraten with a side of mashed potatoes and mid-Michigan sweet corn that I had been dying to try. Everything was absolutely amazing, with flavors so rich I could only eat half. The corn surpassed expectations and was as delightful as the locals brag.
Mystery Date #2 did not have the deep emotions of our first mystery date, but that is a good thing. Instead, I learned that it’s okay to let go a bit and allow myself to be spoiled. No, not spoiled, treated. The universe will take care of me. And right now the universe is manifesting as The Mayor, who takes care of my every need and anticipates my wants that I don’t even know I want. The Mayor has unlocked the mystery of Destiny, and I’m not even mad about it.
When I was in 3rd grade, my teacher, Ms. Bennett, asked the class to describe ourselves with an adjective beginning with the first letter of our first name. So we had Silly Sean and Crazy Chris, to name a couple. I didn’t know a D word to describe myself, so Ms. Bennett volunteered “Dynamic Destiny” and I learned that day what the word dynamic means. I was a bundle of positive energy and extroverted excitement at the time, so it suited me well. As I am nearing my 50s, I am revisiting that moniker, and I find that it fits just as well at 48. Though I am more introverted in my middle age, the definition of dynamic as an antonym to static seems to befit me. Dynamic. Changing. Not content to stay the same. This sums up the past six months for me and I hope to carry that into my 50s next year and beyond.
The first big change was our move from Loveland, Ohio to Grand Ledge, Michigan in May. I left the hometown for the past 24 years that never really felt right and headed north. Grand Ledge has been a slice of idyllic America, and I have made it my mission to get to know the people and the area so I can start building a sense of community that I never got in Loveland. The first month I was here, I found a new crochet class and finally learned how to manipulate yarn into something real and valuable. (My cursing dishcloths have been a fun project!) Through that first class, I was introduced to a group of friends who now meet every Tuesday—we call ourselves “The Hook Up” and we meet to gab, crochet, and just feel a sense of belonging. For the first time since leaving the red brick wall at R-MWC in 1999, I have found a group of women whom I call friends and with whom I actually have the time and desire to socialize.
One of my friends from The Hook Up invited me to an exercise class in downtown Grand Ledge, so I will be getting up at 5 a.m. next Wednesday and walking the ½ mile to the studio to do some group exercise and meet other like-minded individuals. The last time I did something like this, I went headfirst into Adventure Boot Camp and got ripped. My subsequent mental breakdown following my divorce put an abrupt stop to that and it has been a struggle to exercise regularly ever since. I am committing to one day a week (because 5 a.m.!) but I am actually really looking forward to having a group class where I can get my heart rate up. I am not content to stay the same. Dynamic. Changing.
Ez reports to college today and I’m sure will have lots of ice breakers and get to know you games to play with her classmates. If they are tasked with an alliterative epithet, I think “Evolving Ezra” will suit them nicely. They have changed so much from a kid to a teen to now a college student. And they have four years to evolve into a twenty-something with a good head on their shoulders. They are springboarding from childhood into a lifetime of growth and change and challenges and victories—a lifetime of “Evolving Ezra.”
This is the right time to adapt my blog to my new life circumstances. I am no longer “Just Destiny: Single Mom Keeping it Real.” Since my kids are grown and my role as caregiver has changed to supporter and cheerleader, I have time to focus on my life. So I am updating the branding of this blog to reflect the new stage of life I am in. Now I am “Just Destiny: MI life, My Life.” I will still do Seven Sentences for Sunday and I might have some reflections on parenting adults, but I will be focusing more on my adventures in Michigan and my own personal growth. I am excited for this new venture, and I am excited to share it with you, dear readers. Because I am Dynamic Destiny. Changing. Not content to stay the same.
I made some financial, health, and creative resolutions. I didn’t share them last year and I made good headway on all fronts. So superstitious me is keeping them to myself so I don’t jinx all the progress I’ve made.
That being said, I went down a pants size!
The best part about new pants that fit in a smaller size is they make you feel cute and sexy all day, but after I’ve eaten dessert, I can unbutton them and they become my comfy pants til it’s time for bed.
I got one last Christmas moment. I am always transported to a magical place when the tree lights are the only light in the room.
I’ve already gotten J’s and Ez’s birthday gifts for their birthdays at the end of March. I have to get The Mayor’s gift for his birthday in February then I am taking a few months off before I start on Christmas shopping for next year.
I am hand making R and J’s advent calendars for next year, so I will start collecting for those in March.
I was supposed to have lunch with my BFF after Christmas but he came down with norovirus and had to cancel. I have an entire file in my Notes of discussion questions the next time we get together. It is getting longer by the day, so we are going to have to make a date sooner rather than later. How often do you catch up with your BFF?
I love you all, some more than others. 💜🌻
Last night of Christmas lights. Goodbye Christmas magic til December!
It’s winter time, which means I have plenty of dark days to ponder such somber thoughts as what kind of legacy I will leave behind when my time comes to become stardust in the universe. As I collect past writings and journal entries into a collective published piece, I am reminded of the Latin phrase Verba volant, scripta manent, which translates to “spoken words fly away, written words remain.” I live and die by the pen, so this resonates particularly strongly with me.
Between Facebook and my blog, I am pretty much an open book. This has enabled me to nurture and develop relationships with people from all walks of my life all over the world, and with some whom I have never met. Just this week, I have been messaged by three different people of varying degrees of familiarity who said they thought of me because of something I had written.
My friend, Nick, from my study abroad year in England, messaged that something came across his feed about people who can make jokes about grammar are the cleverest of the lot and he thought of me. My bff’s mom, Linda, texted that she thought of me because she got an entire bag of “foldy” chips with her dinner and she knew that bag should’ve been mine. And then my own daughter, J, has texted me at the exact same time numerous times, indicating that we are never far from each other’s minds.
Just the idea that I crossed these friends’ minds and made them smile for a moment fills my love bucket to the brim. I am not one for long conversations, always a better listener than I am contributor, but I can collect my thoughts into an essay with relative ease. I think this has allowed me to be precisely in the moment soaking it all in, and then write about it later. While I hope to make an impact on people in real life connections, the reality of our virtual world is we have so many of those interactions online. We are who we are because of our words, and our written words are even more pertinent and meaningful today.
It brings me joy and a sense of fulfillment that I can elicit a smile through my actions, but especially my words. My writings are an expression of my love for this journey we are on together, and that Love will remain in others whom I have touched after I am ashes. Hopefully I have plenty of years left to continue to make an impression in others who enter my sphere. At the very least, I will have left a library for my children and future grandchildren so that they will always know I love them. After all, scripta manent, amor manet.
When I am super hungry, I get highly irrational. Adam will ask me how many squares of pizza I want and I respond “Eighteen” and he says, “Hmmm. How about we start with three.” And of course he is always right. I hope we never lose this type of interaction.
Ez killed their senior pictures. We got proofs and they are outstanding.
R turned 19. The last year of her teens. I know so many good things are going to happen for her this year and she is going to go into her 20s soaring.
The Mayor and I had early dinner out on Friday at one of our old haunts, Dos Amigos. I was thrilled the waiter checked out my cleavage and smiled, only for me to realize it’s because I had already spilled salsa down my top in the 25 seconds between him dropping off the chips and coming back to take our order. I’m 48 and still hopeless. 😩
Today is our first day of snow. I love how peaceful and quiet it is, but only because I don’t have to be anywhere.
I accidentally dipped my thumb into a 460 degree water bath that I was pulling out of the oven when I made homemade baguettes. My entire thumb is one big blister now, which makes texting and typing a very surreal experience.
I finished and submitted my 1% Club application this morning. I don’t know if I could make it to the 100k, but it sure would be fun trying!! For my video I sang a made up song to the tune of Seasons of Love from Rent. Fingers crossed they like me enough to cast me!
Meticulously take one red and one purple every night. This is what remains. If something is off in the universe when I start taking two purple, you know why.
I just approved a comment from a reader from 2020. Somehow I missed it in my review tab and it has been sitting there for 5 years.Apologies, dear reader. -100 for Destiny!
I had my zoom call with Alan Alda and he is an amazing, brilliant, deep man who has all of his faculties, despite dealing with the tremors of early Parkinson’s. I am so blessed to have been able to share space with him. We talked about the meaning of life and it was fascinating to hear everyone’s stories and his response to them.
Just when I thought the Bengals had their season back on track, our defense gives up 39 points to the freaking Jets and we lose. Sigh.
My BFF has started a podcast with a friend about being in recovery. I encourage you to check it out and give it a listen (especially Episode 2) wherever you get your podcasts. It is called Terminal Addiction and you can find them on YouTube, Spotify, instagram, and Facebook.
Last night The Mayor made a dupe of the famous Golden Lamb shepherds pie, complete with sun-dried tomatoes, Lima beans, peas, carrots, lamb, and a crust of Parmesan cheddar on top of the mashed potatoes. It was outstanding and the best part is we have enough for leftovers tonight, which means the Mayor doesn’t have to cook!
Fridays and Sundays are the only days where I don’t have a commitment. The Mayor works those days, so I have a good 7 hours to myself to get caught up on work and binge the shows he won’t watch. I am eagerly awaiting the return of Emily in Paris and am neck deep in the new Kristen Bell show Nobody Wants This.
I look forward to Friday nights because The Mayor and I celebrate the end of the week with a joint after I close my computer at 5. I love this ritual and it helps me set aside all of the stresses of the week for an evening of contemplation and traveling the universe. This week Friday night joint was my birthday joint and was infused, so it packed a punch. I had some personal issues with a family member that had been wreaking havoc on my psyche and two puffs in, I was able to release all of that angst into the universe and trust that it would all work out. I got a perspective on a problem that I sorely needed and I was able to let it go. The next day the personal issue worked itself out and I had a load off my shoulders. Now, am I suggesting you should get high when you are faced with an unresolved issue? I mean, I’m not not saying it. Just kidding. But I think we should maybe not be so afraid of a plant with proven medicinal benefits.
I woke up today, my 48th birthday, at 7 a.m. on the dot, fully refreshed after a lovely night of sleep. There’s nothing super special about turning 48, other than the mere fact that I have made it around the sun for another year, but The Mayor immediately piled my presents on me before I could even have a sip of coffee as if it was a milestone birthday. I eagerly opened my favorite cheddar and caramel popcorn, some cool new scrunchies, and the cream on top, a brand new Kate Spade wallet/wristlet that The Mayor picked out specially. The man knows me so well, and has keyed into my love language of gifts with an enviable keenness.
Ez’s birthday flowers and stuffed pumpkin
I did my DuoLingo lesson and made my way into the living room to watch ARC Cincinnati with Bob and Jen while I drank my morning coffee. My phone blew up with texts as my friends from all over checked in to wish me happy birthday as they woke up to the world. I heard from dear friends near and far, got a sweet text from my ex-husband, and a heartwarming text from my oldest daughter, J. I hopped on Facebook and, again, the well wishes continued to roll in. I was feeling the love.
On my way to pick Ez up for school, I said a silent prayer that they would be awake and I wouldn’t have to battle the dogs to go wake them up. When I rolled up to Spinnaker Drive, I saw a text from Ez that they were awake but running a little late. No big deal, I had built in plenty of time. And then The Mayor texted me and said I was featured on ARC with Bob and Jen with one of my answers to their question of the day and Jen called me out specifically. What a birthday treat!
No incidents to and from school, with a stop at Dunkin for Ez’s breakfast, and I returned home to more texts and Facebook wishes. My BFF and his parents sent me a Jungle Jim’s gift card for some exotic treats from the International Market, showing yet again that they get me. I got to work on my physics account, getting so immersed that I forgot to eat my morning Bobo, my stomach rumbling around 11 a.m. to warn me that I better get something in there pronto, lest my blood sugar plummet and I am stuck with a headache. I gathered my phone and my purse and headed out for our neighborhood specialty market to grab my favorite ham and brie sandwich on a french baguette and to say hello to The Mayor while he was at work.
When I got home, I got a message from my sister informing me that she and my two littlest brothers had all chipped in and got me an All Access subscription to Alan Alda’s Clear+Vivid podcast patreon, proceeds of which go to charity but with a member perk of having Alan record an outgoing voicemail message for members. I was floored, as I had mentioned in passing that I wanted to subscribe once I paid off my final loan next year and had set it as a savings goal. I couldn’t believe that they got it for me early! My name is going to come out of the mouth of Captain Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce and I am going to have that as my voicemail til the day I die! I may never get the opportunity to meet the man, but hearing him say my name counts as fulfilling a lifelong dream, and I could not be more grateful to my siblings.
At 3:30 I picked up Ez from school and they gifted me with flowers from their Flower Farming and Floristry class as well as a stuffed pumpkin from their sewing class. We stopped by Brooklyn Pizza and Pasta to pick up birthday dinner on our way home. Once home, we turned it on Game Show Network, per usual, and played along with the Master Minds until The Mayor got home from work, when I downed my stuffed shells and spinach salad. After dinner, Five Below’s blind bag selection beckoned, and Ez and I headed out the door. They played me the Birthday Sex song by Jeremih and then we played Young, Wild, and Free and sang along with all the naughty bits. Ez stocked up on their favorite blind bags and we headed back to their house to drop them off for the night. They got out of the car, thanked me for dinner and the ride, always respectful and courteous, and wished me happy birthday again.
On my way home from Ez’s, I was cruising down Columbia Road, zipping through the roundabouts, and Dobie Gray’s “Drift Away” came on. I turned it up and sang along, putting some extra sauce on the “Gimme the beat boys and free my soul…” because I was feeling good and sassy. When it got to the lines, “Thanks for the joy that you’ve given me…I want you to know I believe in your song. And rhythm and rhyme and harmony, you’ve helped me along. Makin’ me strong…” I started to tear up at all the people who have gifted me with joy over the years. My friends reaching out not just on my birthday, but throughout the good and bad times over the past three decades of being an adult. My family, my kids, my BFF, The Mayor, every one of them has a song that I believe in, and every one of them has contributed to making me strong. I will continue to believe in my own song and share it through my essays and Seven Sentences for Sundays. I thank every one of you for helping with the harmony, may we continue to make beautiful music for the next 48 years.
I finally went to a free crochet class that I have been meaning to attend for the past few months and I made three new friends and am well on my way to making a dish rag.
I am also relearning French via Duo Lingo and am at a level 43 out of 160, so I have a ways to go.
Biscuits and gravy for dinner tonight; sometimes we have lots of veggies, tonight we had none. I ain’t complaining, that gravy was delicious!
I am 3 pounds away from losing 50 lbs from my top weight. I wouldn’t mind losing 50 more, but I’d be happy with 30-40. I think my doctor would be fine with that too. I just seem to be okay with losing at a turtle’s pace—especially if it means I get biscuits and gravy for dinner every three months!
Harvard released their applications for their extension campus. I have vowed that when we get moved and settled I am going to apply for my masters in creative writing. I feel like I should be able to finish my novel as a capstone project.
WWE’s women only event Evolution is on tonight. When Rhea Ripley walked into the arena with no makeup on I swear my heart took an extra beat. That woman does things to men and women alike!
This is the first time I have written in 3 years. In the spirit of doing new things I figured I d revisit an old thing while I was at it. I am glad to be back, for however long.
Destiny! Manifested 