Seven Sentences for Sunday: The Hopefully Haunted Edition

  1. I’ve decided that we should teleport using 1/3 of our brains and we can therefore take over 1/3 of someone else’s brain. Wouldn’t it then be awesome to teleport right into someone’s brain who has 50-yard-line tickets for the Super Bowl? Just to feel the excitement?
  2. I had an epiphany tonight while looking for nursing school scholarships: I want to be a neonatal nurse. I think I would be excellent at it, even if it does dash my dreams of finding my own Denny Duquette.
  3. I went trick-or-treating with my ex-husband, his new fiancee, and four of the five kids between us all tonight. It was actually a lot of fun!
  4. I am bound and determined to finish hanging my artwork this week. I’m tired of my apartment being unkempt and unfinished.
  5. This teenage acne on my chin has got to stop. I think I got it from reading Tina Fey’s book, Bossypants, because she complains about her own bouts with it.
  6. Thursday night is my only free night this week…the rest are booked with social events. I sound a lot more hip than I really am–in actuality I’m just lonely as fuck.
  7. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…why won’t the people at Hershey’s get their heads out of their asses and make a dark chocolate Almond Joy? We could call it Almond Bliss or Nutty Nirvana…just get it done already.

I love you all, some more than others.

Seven Sentences for Sunday: The Pieces of Me Edition

  1. Having my kids with me gives me a peace of mind that I have longed for since I took my exclamation point. Their energy dissipates my own, and I feel almost normal.
  2. My ex-husband bought me an ice cream cake for my birthday (with the kids’ help) because he remembered I like the crunchies. We are on a path to being better friends than we ever were spouses.
  3. Reese’s Pieces…on a caramel apple…with Granny Smith as a base…bought in Vegas last year and still lusted after by me and Jolie.
  4. If zombies came to eat my brain, their tongues would rot off into a fiery bolus based on all the chemicals I’ve got mixing around in there–some natural and others not-so-much. Some days I can literally feel the synapses firing and can describe it in exquisite detail–I smell a poem.
  5. Being uninspired is a distressing feeling for a writer. Let’s hope this nursing thing works out.
  6. I turned 34, lied and told someone I was 27, got 27 jello shots, did half, and rocked my ass off on Saturday night. D! FTW.
  7. I would really like to give someone a small piece of my heart—I miss doing simple acts of affection for someone I love. I have yet to figure out how to channel that energy elsewhere–it just sits in its pot simmering, begging to be served. I’m limping today.

I love you all, some more than others.

Seven Sentences for Sunday: The Final 33 Edition

  1. The next time I write my Seven Sentences, I’ll be 34…an unsavory number that I hope belies its optimistic truth.
  2. I felt less alone eating by myself at BW3’s tonight than I have in a long time. I might be getting the hang of this single woman on the loose thing again after an unfortunate 6 month hiatus.
  3. The kids are gone for the week and the thought of cleaning the apartment from floor to ceiling, carpet to linoleum has me ecstatic. It’s a shame I gave my pearls to my sister–I could’ve had a true Donna Reed moment, albeit a shit-kicking, single lady rocking out to tunes on the radio while vacuuming one.
  4. I have for my entire life thought Van Halen’s “Panama” was Def Leppard’s “Animal” simply based on the chorus. I just this very moment realized how very wrong I was–only because it’s on the radio and a few weeks ago I insisted to a lead singer of an 80’s cover band that he had indeed played “Animal” because I heard it. Never argue with a rocker in a hair-band wig.
  5. With going back to school becoming a very real possibility, I’m already getting excited about signing up for classes and meeting new professors. I need a lifetime scholarship for all the classes I’d love to take.
  6. Ez has officially claimed the potty mouth of the family title: Today during a tantrum at the mall she called me both an idiot AND a moron. I honestly have no idea where she got those words from.
  7. The Doomsday prediction of May 21 was moved to October 21st, the day before my birthday, so maybe my fear of 34 will be completely moot. I guess I should eat cake on Friday just to be sure.
I love you all, some more than others.

The Changing of the Guard(ians)

How will I know? she asked, trepidation in her quiver.

The autumn wind will blow, he said,

pressing his thumb into her palm.

The summer cicada will have chirped its last,

hobbling off to winter’s decay.

The lawnmower’s whir will cease to break

the sound of playing children,

silenced through the darkened days.

The autumn wind will blow;

twigs will snap, acorns will fall,

and nature’s litter will fill the sidewalks.

The sleeves will become long,

calming the shiver that autumn’s chill

has sent through the late days of summer.

He laced his fingers through hers.

The crisp air will fill your lungs,

lacking the sharpness of winter’s menace that follows.

The tides of your swirling thoughts will calm,

a Jacob’s ladder of refreshing clarity.

Your exhaled breath will smell of cinnamon,

a sign that change has come.

He squeezed her hand gently.

Now walk with me while the night is warm,

I am here with you now.

You will know when I am gone,

the autumn wind will blow.

Seven Sentences for Sunday: The Sayonara Edition

  1. Saying goodbye to your sister who is moving 2100 miles away is easy…if you pretend it’s not really happening.
  2. My niece’s wave goodbye also substitutes for a high-five or a chipper hello; it’s adorable no matter the intended meaning.
  3. As I say adios to the old house for good, my living room is once again filled with crap that I don’t want to sort. I need to throw a party for motivation.
  4. Is it sad that I’m already thinking about New Year’s Eve since I don’t have the kids? I don’t want to say au revoir to 2011 alone.
  5. As I bid adieu to one of my medicines, albeit over the course of a few months, it has the unintended effect of opening up little packages of memories that were boxed and put away for safe-keeping for a later or never date. The later date has arrived and it is weird.
  6. I abhor the new facebook…it frustrates the ever-living daylights out of me. And yet I still can’t say goodbye. Http Heroine.
  7. Part of me wishes I’d never said farewell to my old blog as, for better or worse, it was a part of me. The other part of me is glad I tore it down never to be uncovered by anyone’s eyes but my own. I am the hypocritical exhibitionist writer.

I love you all, some more than others.

Red Wanting You

Today’s post is inspired by my favorite indie rock band, Red Wanting Blue. This print by Amanda Joy Calobrisi brings to mind all of the vintage kitsch that adorn RWB’s stage. From little bobbleheads to bumper stickers to a Lite Bright with the band’s name spelled out in lights, the nostalgia they bring is all part of what makes their show spectacular. With poetic lyrics and soul stirring beats, you’re guaranteed to fall in love. If you’re unfamiliar with the band, check out their latest single Audition here. Leave me a comment to let me know what you think and I’ll dish on all my favorite RWB songs so you can find them on iTunes. P.S. Stay tuned for their newest album in January. If the past is any prediction, it’s going to be rockin’. Continue reading →

Seven Sentences for Sunday: The Catch-All Edition

1. We moved on Wednesday and it was as minimally chaotic as possible. And now we are tucked in our apartment with only a few boxes remaining.

2. Those few boxes along with some extraneous crap at the old house will be the bane of my existence for the next week as I try and figure out what to do with the piddly crap that accumulates in a functioning household.

3. My new apartment has a much bigger mirror in the bathroom than at my old house, which means I can no longer hide the fact that I have indeed become the girl who got pudgy post-divorce. Of course this realization comes just as the weather is turning, but do something about it I will.

4. Do you think this boy sees a red wall and wants to paint it black?

By Hani Zurob

5. You know that old black and white picture of a work crew sitting on a beam eating their lunches high above a NYC construction site? A modern day version would have them all checking their smartphones so they could snap a picture and share it on facebook.

By David Soukup

6. I hate this picture. Sorry, but I do. For reasons of jealousy, more than anything. Because the man who is viewing this woman from this angle loves the simple fact that she is leaning over and applying sunscreen and still looks beautiful.

By Russell Shoemaker

7. I find myself walking this precarious line of sharing too much in my writing versus keeping myself more closed than before; I’ve been leaning to the side of holding my cards. I’m not sure that the limits are doing me any favors as my old standby format of the personal essay has become, well, less personal. A new challenge for the week, perhaps.

I love you all, some more than others.

Catching Up, Part 2

By Jennifer Cronin 

I told Mom and Dad that there was a monster under my bed, but they didn’t believe me. And this wasn’t just any old scary bedtime monster, I had a genuine scary-hairy-spider monster. And it stank too. Like the kind of stink that comes from when Dad takes both the sports section and the auto section of the paper in the bathroom with him. And I told them this monster could make itself really big or really small depending on where it needed to go, like when I saw it come in through a hole in the window sill or when it walked right through my bedroom door as if it were leading a parade of nighttime creepy creatures. It’s a sneaky one. I also tried to tell them that it had been threatening to steal me away for days if I didn’t keep feeding it goldfish crackers. Which is why I threw an extra long fit when Mom wouldn’t let me have a snack tonight before bed.

But did they believe me? Nope. Not even for a second. Which is why I didn’t feel the least bit bad when they had to chase that scary-hairy-spider monster down the drain cuz it had a hold of me. And they had to figure out if the yelling was from miniature me caught in the drain or the shrieks of the scary-hairy-spider monster as Mom and Dad tried to keep it from getting away. And it got all its scary-hairy-spider juice on Mom’s nightgown. And Dad nearly barfed because of that scary-hairy-spider smell. Nope, I didn’t feel bad at all. Not one single bit.

*****

By Kyla Zoe Rafert

Today was my lucky day. I got the red handle on the parachute. I almost always get stuck with the yellow handle, but today in music class, when Mrs. Holden told us it was parachute time, I got to help her get it out, which meant I got the red handle before Ella Peters did. And everybody knows the red handle is best. I was so happy that when we whooshed our arms up and floated that parachute so high, I looked up at all those beautiful colors and fluttered my eyelashes like it was a rainbow waterfall about to come crashing down on me. And then, when we did our cave and tucked the edges under our bottoms, I even let Doug Masterson scooch in close to me so we could keep that parachute up so high with everyone giggling underneath it. But I did not let him hold my handle. No sharesies on that. Everyone knows that.

Catching Up Part 1

Since this week was spent packing up and moving our lives yet again, I was left with absolutely no time or energy to post regularly. I don’t want to write off the week as a waste, so I’m going to take the next two days to catch up–sort of. My partner-in-crime and wannabe writer (at 7 1/2) took the helm with these first two from September 12 and 13. Without further ado, Jolie brings you Tuesday and Wednesday’s Steptember editions.

Special thanks to Artist A Day

By Tom Robinson

J: What if that woman was sad and stressed out and is just coming home from a long day at the office.

Destiny!: Why is she stressed out?

J: Because she had a bunch of meetings all day.

Destiny!: Why is she sad then?

J: Because her two daughters just moved away and all she has left is her boy at home because he’s not old enough to move away.

Destiny!: What do you think would make her happy?

J: Another kid.

*****

By Jesse P Thomas

 

This man is in a cabin reading a book. His friend (who owns the really fancy cabin) is on the phone. His friend is talking to his sister about when she’s going to be able to come. The man with the book wants her to come because his wife died and he might want to marry her.

A Matter of Viewpoint

Thanks to Artist A Day

A Life to be Envied/Emulated/Eschewed

First glance, timid smiles,

afternoon strolls, tender kisses,

soft caresses, exploring hands,

intertwined bodies, tangled sheets.

Morning coffee, candlelit dinners,

kneeling proposition, sparkling solitaire

From father to husband, I do’s,

intertwined bodies, tangled sheets.

Doctor’s checkups, pickles and ice cream,

ten tiny toes, her fathers eyes,

from husband to father, pride-filled tears.

First steps, college graduations

white weddings, grandchildren’s births,

second honeymoons, retirement parties,

arthritic bones, sleepless nights,

departing kisses, final smile.